Underthought Redux

Hurt

Inaudible i cry again

ground under my feet

sinks, darkness consumes

me and everything else

Last glimpse of life

I see over my shoulder

Timeout

Workin on my own blog code.. need back up for all the stuff i pen coz its done on free stuff… no dough=no relaibility……. so no news for a while……. 😉

EoF

Just great

How much better a start can you have for your day?

1) No transportation to get to work

2) Sis complaints ab’t u “neglecting her”

3) Work sucks

4) So does life

Free

I am not ashamed, I am doing it again, I am walking away and I am happy.

Call it a favour or a curse or a gift, somethings always remain the same, you cannot erase of yourself what you are and no matter wot I cannot erase the fact that i am a sucker.

I smile when I lose and the deeper the loss, the more peaceful the smile becomes. I am smiling again and I am at peace, I am not complaining.

Just for once?

Seems hard to do it…. but I should manage it once in a while….. but i cannot seem to….. get blamed for all that is wrong…..

Zzzz

Am feeling sleepy, need a nice warm bed……… skin and some warm coffee to stay alive…….. any takers?

Murder

Why is it that I feel like committing murder now?

Walk away

Just that is all, go walk away, be like everyone else……. you are welcome to… thanx for using this form of entertainment……. Just do not leave your memmories with me, that is all that i charge..

Futile

Somewhere there has to be a point to all this. When and where i have no clue, do not ask me but i am sure there is or i must at least delude myself there is.

there are 24 hours in a day and the number of hours that i am happy or that i think i am happy is like almost zero. It’s a wonderful world with multi-colored madness in it. Nothing is stable in it. People colors moods. One fantastic painting.

Someone hung up on me bcoz i was tryin to be funny……….. and i was not offending anyone… mebbe i was offending just myself……… and she slammed the fone down…… why? and have not heard from her since……. life will never make sense to me….. like the song goes “the more i know, the less i understand”

my daily routine as a graph resembles some wild goose chase, even by the time i reach the first node i am a loss to where my initial objective was ot is it that i do not have one at all?

EoF

Tears

I died again today, on the footsteps of heaven. Heaven that I thought was mine, at least I secretly thought so. Time and again it happens, sick jokes are sent with an air of deja vu. I do not have answers, just tears, silent soft ones, why did I have to die again?

Shall I send a thimble each of these tears to all those who have meant anything to me? No I won’t, they will spit into it and keep it away, even these tears do not belong to me, they would not want me to cry. I shall lie from now on… I am happy coz i am dead. I have ceased to exist.

This pain has to stop somewhere…… this hurt is too much…… I am at a loss for words to explain how it feels….. But then why do I see things where there nothing? Is that I am just delerious or is it that I am the most available dummy to play a prank on?

No I was told it was no joke, I asked again…. It was not…. I lie here now……. dead