A year is a long duration of time, and its passing has been eventful. What used to be a running tally of the various cuts and brusies in the year past has now mostly turned into a feeling of gratefulness; that, I am still able to, rather selfishly, enjoy the presence of most of my loved ones in my life. The days to come continue to be steeped in uncertainty, but I have slowly learned to set that aside and take every little bit of love, companionship and good fortune that is there today.
That brings us to time and that there is so little of it. As I have grown older, the realisation has only grown stronger that time is really relative. 3-hours spent on something that was not that important is a lifetime wasted compared to not being able to spare 5-minutes earlier for someone who is no longer in this world. No amount of hours that I can set aside in the future will not bring those 5-minutes back.
It has also been a year of trying to pick the right battles to fight, admit to everyone freely my limitations; that I can’t be everywhere and maximise my time with people who allow me to be who I really am, all warts included. That has been a liberating feeling like nothing else. To live a significant portion of my time not driven by guilt and also not have the same guilt drive most of my decisions has been a revelation.
As I go further down this path, I am awed, everyday, by people who don’t waste their time being anything else other than their true selves. It is an exhilarating way to live to be the truest version of yourself, for no other reason than it being exactly who you want to be. It makes battling the million other things that go wrong on a daily basis well worth the fight.
There is no longer a destination or an objective to this journey. If there is one that resembles it, it is to live the best life possible every day. I’m exceptionally lucky that a significant number of days turn out that way, even on days when I have done not much to make it happen. Regardless, I will take each and every one of them with wide open arms.
I am looking forward to 2019.