Category: Uncategorized

Walk away

Just that is all, go walk away, be like everyone else……. you are welcome to… thanx for using this form of entertainment……. Just do not leave your memmories with me, that is all that i charge..

Futile

Somewhere there has to be a point to all this. When and where i have no clue, do not ask me but i am sure there is or i must at least delude myself there is.

there are 24 hours in a day and the number of hours that i am happy or that i think i am happy is like almost zero. It’s a wonderful world with multi-colored madness in it. Nothing is stable in it. People colors moods. One fantastic painting.

Someone hung up on me bcoz i was tryin to be funny……….. and i was not offending anyone… mebbe i was offending just myself……… and she slammed the fone down…… why? and have not heard from her since……. life will never make sense to me….. like the song goes “the more i know, the less i understand”

my daily routine as a graph resembles some wild goose chase, even by the time i reach the first node i am a loss to where my initial objective was ot is it that i do not have one at all?

EoF

Tears

I died again today, on the footsteps of heaven. Heaven that I thought was mine, at least I secretly thought so. Time and again it happens, sick jokes are sent with an air of deja vu. I do not have answers, just tears, silent soft ones, why did I have to die again?

Shall I send a thimble each of these tears to all those who have meant anything to me? No I won’t, they will spit into it and keep it away, even these tears do not belong to me, they would not want me to cry. I shall lie from now on… I am happy coz i am dead. I have ceased to exist.

This pain has to stop somewhere…… this hurt is too much…… I am at a loss for words to explain how it feels….. But then why do I see things where there nothing? Is that I am just delerious or is it that I am the most available dummy to play a prank on?

No I was told it was no joke, I asked again…. It was not…. I lie here now……. dead

I feel the most intense hatered for myself now

not a good sign 🙁

hmmm……..

Am kinda likin it here… esp since blogback is up now……. someday am gonna fiddle around with the templates…. nice feature, like that like that ……… 😉

@work and listening to takfarinas……. as usual bobbing up and down in a sea of depression trying to follow all so rare beams of light frm the lighthouse of happiness….. someday am gonna crash against some rocks and sink in some unknown shores….. peace……..

😉

High And Dry

Sometimes………. when it hurts ya so bad…… wot do u do? U smile and you walk away…… Defeated? yea………. Dejected? yea……….

Lost for words – the song and the feeling

Bad days

Well when are they not bad eh? Hmm……. had a nerve racking day till now….. a great good pal screamed at me for like half an hour together… For a change the fault was mine, in fact the whole relationship in this case is a markedly different from what i usually get into. Give and take ratio is like 2:98. Started the day with wanting to lose her……. ended with wishing like hell only if things were easier and that she stayed on with me…… Unrealistic expectations……. wot started the day with…… is where i am now……..

Have lots of work to do….. plus a nice personal project to code……. Might list it on sourceforge if some day i can get the quality of the code to something like even a pre-alpha level. Well, what is it? heheheee….. a goddamn CMS of crs……….. 🙂

Mondays

Do i? Do i not? I want to but i do not want to………….. she gets me going sky high……. but am scared of heights too…….. the world looks amazing from there………. still am scared………..

EoF

Who the f@^k Am I?

Not that it really matters……

People tell me I am a journalist by profession…. but I am not really sure. It could all be a conspiracy you know. I am a hack in all senses of the word, chopping other’s copies to shreds, getting mine chopped by others, packaging stories, general website management, usability and navigation, aaaaaaarrrggghhhhh……. the works in short 🙂 Spare time is consumed by reading, tech (I code my two bits) and chatting in a room (hosted on the server with the ip addie 202.54.124.158. Pssst……. the server runs Eshare Expressions 4.0 for webserving and the chat management and is hosted at VSNL Mumbai ;)), the name of which according to Merriam Webster means: a furtive flirtatious caressing with the feet (as under a table).

Sex: O�>

Age: Classified Info :-/

Turn ons: Music, sex, women, poetry, desolation, a good book to cuddle up with, motor sports, computers, people, places, words, images, life, sadness, joy, emptiness, Julian Barnes, Asterix, Garfield, Umberto Eco, simple people, rain, water, moderate perversions, long train journeys, winter walks, Sylvia Plath, Robert Redford, Oliver Stone, Rage Against The Machine, SoundGarden, Mark Knopfler, Pink Floyd, Temple of the Dog, Sting, Mazzy Star, Nitin Sawhney, Kishore Kumar, Anita Desai….what the heck eh? the whole deal.

Turn offs: Back stabbing, not keeping one’s word, lying to please, Linda Goodman, M&Bs, hooch, Anu Malik, bad breath, forwards in my personal e-mail address, hangovers on a Monday morning, being back in the cancer stick habit after staying clean for 2 years and the inability to kick it now, Missy Elliot.

Location: Latitude : 28.38 N Longitude : 77.12 E

Saturday and at work, well what is new? of course nothing is…. People still keep dying in the world (mostly innocent) the rich and the bastards thrive. bosses work for less and get paid a lot more… the drones keep humming, afterall the economy needs to function, the world needs to move on………

Sleep as usual is elusive, been clocking like 6 hrs of sleep in 3 days, not a very good move if u consider the fact that I have to keep up during nights because of my work…… Tomorrow is my precious hours off…… considering gettin sloshed actively, been two months since i have done that!! Am i getting domesticated finally? 😉

EoF