Categories
Life

The Churning

I spent a good five-minutes of my time wondering what could be the right title for this post, than wonder what to write about in the first place. Well, it has been that kind of a time.

There is normally the end-of-the-year or the beginning-of-the-year kind of posts that I end up writing. This time, there has been none. The passing of the year that ended was barely noticed.

Time is just another of the many recurring details. One that makes itself felt in a body that no longer can handle the heaps of abuse thrown at it all that well. And in the list of things to be done that never end.

In that, there is never enough time.

If you don’t pay enough attention to it, it becomes the norm to not pay enough attention to yourself. There are many wonderful ways to spend time on yourself, but not really spend any of that listening to yourself.

Sometimes, the helplessness is overwhelming. There seems to be little agency left in life; which, I know, is a tad melodramatic, considering I still live a very blessed life.

That being the case, I do wonder if things will ever go back to a time again when things did not seem like a churning. Of the waves, the tides and the shore that seems a bit more distant each day.